Baseball season is in full swing (sorry, couldn’t resist) so the Cranky Old Men congregated at a Blue Jays game after much consternation, long deliberations, impassioned negotiations, and ultimately approval of the much better halves. After a fancy pants lunch at the Yorkdale food court Subway it was time for the first part of the adventure, a Little Apple big city subway ride.
Farmer Steve had technical issues with a Presto card, apparently someone had pick pocketed his Google Wallet. However as luck would have it, RA couldn’t figure out the ticket kiosk and paid for two return tickets instead of one. Farmer Steve swiped RA’s spare ticket on the wrong turnstile then squeezed in through an exit gate. As for his Google wallet, it appeared his ball game ticket was also missing. JT to the rescue and after a highly technical information recovery process (turn it off and back on again) we were back in business.
To say the COM are cheap is an understatement akin to saying that the Leafs haven’t won the cup in a few years. The $40 seats were so far up in the stands that the birds were getting beak bleeds. Luckily there was a defibrillator nearby, which was put to good use after we saw the beer prices. Clear, clear recharge. I thought it would be apropos to quaff a Mill Street Blue Jays Blue Wave in silent support of the home team, however I didn’t realize at the time I was waving away $18 bucks for one. As in one beer, not one six pack. $18 bucks for one wobbly pop, ouch. Big league bucks for big league brewskis. I asked RA what was the most he ever spent on a beer and he said “about 45 minutes”.
The young guys beside us and in front of us must have taken out a few student loans, because they were quaffing down shorty Budweisers like they actually enjoyed them. They were full volume cheering and kibitzing for a jumbo cam cameo. Luckily for us the jumbo cam probably had the same view of us that we had of the game. I was trying to remember when I was ever that excited about anything, let alone a Bud. I was also trying to remember if I ever saw young skinny white guys dance so badly.
Oh yea, our prom.
As for the view of the field, it was about the same as the view we would have had from the Goodyear blimp immediately after crashing into the CN Tower and exploding into a Hinden-burger with fries.
When they say there are no bad seats, I guess they are referring to the comfort not the view, and they were incorrect on both counts. I was on the edge of my seat the whole game, in order to get close enough to the scoreboard to see the pitch count. We could in general discern what was happening by the mood of the fans in the lower sections that could actually see the game, and by googling replays on our phones.
The visiting team, the LA Dodgers, were doing their best 60’s Beatles impersonation, the hits just kept coming. I’m not sure if Betts was on base every inning but let’s just say he was far busier at the plate than in the field.* We did get our money’s worth when it came to checking out a number of Blue Jays pitchers, that was quite a relief.** We did see a couple of foul balls come within about 100 feet vertical of our level behind the plate. Guess I didn’t need to bring my glove to the game, come to think of it, neither did the Dodgers. Once the crowd began to exit we knew that the game was over.
Fonger took more selfies than a teenager at a Taylor Swift concert but I think they are stored somewhere in the Cloud. Maybe it’s the same cloud that was hovering at about our seat level. Just like the game, we didn’t see much of those pics either.
It wasn’t a banner day for TO sports, with the Blue Jays’ fifth loss in a row and later that evening the lackluster listless languid and lethargic Leafs losing once again to the even more hated than in the regular season Brad and the Bean Town Bruins. Farmer Steve sure hates that Marchand, I think if he had a gun and an alibi the Bruins would be looking for a new team captain.
Game over, time to head to The Pint for one, and to check out the Sportsnet highlights of the game we just missed. The MVP of the evening was the Guinness I had with dinner.***
When all is said and done, a good time was had by all.
After all, It isn’t how much you spend but who you spend it with that counts.
*Editor’s Comment: Mookie Betts, short stop for the LA Dodgers, had 3 hits in 5 at bats including a triple, a run scored and a RBI in the 4 to 2 win against the Blue Jays on April 27th.
**Editor’s Comment: Kikuchi was the starting pitcher for the Blue Jays but Carbrera, Garcia, Romano and Pearson all pitched in relief.
***Editor’s Comment: Most valuable pint.
Don’t let the old man in (or I guess out, as the case may be). Play ball!
I hear you Kirk. We are all getting older, but that doesn’t mean we have to get old.