The missus says to me “We have a reservation tonight for dinner, it’s a date night!” At our age date night is dinner or a movie, and I can tell she is all excited about it. My inner voice is saying ”Hope it’s an early one because the playoff game starts at 8”. My outer voice is saying “That’s great dear, what time?” She is happy that I am enthusiastic too. “The earliest table was at 7:45.” and I’m thinking “Shit, I’ll miss half of the game, maybe it’s a sports bar and the game will be on the big screen”.
My outer voice, still trying to muster what little enthusiasm I have left says “Where are we going?” She says “That Japanese place I was telling you about.” and I’m thinking ”20 minute drive, no big screen, and them damn chopsticks make for slow eating”. My outer voice says “sounds good, it’s always fun to eat with chopsticks.”
We get to the place a bit early, that being 25 minutes before the National anthem and 30 minutes before puck drop, and there is no place to park. A restaurant that seats 60 people with 8 parking spaces. I drop her off and begin trolling for a space, waiting for someone in the lot or on the street to leave. About 15 minutes before puck drop a space opens. We are in the restaurant and the place is only half full (most people are at home watching the hockey game I assume) and they ask “do you have a reservation”. And we do, for right now as a matter of fact. “OK we will have your table ready in a few minutes”. I can see about 10 tables that look as ready as they will ever be, but we wait. I scan the place, there is a bar but no big screen TV, damn.
When we go out she usually orders the most expensive thing on the menu, the big mac. But there will be no fast food tonight. It’s all you can eat Japanese, no burger and fries and no quick shakes here. Its one of those places where the menu is on an iPad and you input your order so scanning the menu is a decision-making process that requires a certain amount of technical savvy as well. Salad, spring roll, sushi, suihan, seaweed, spicy salmon, shitake, scallops, sweet and sour, steamed rice, signature dishes galore, and strawberry ice cream for dessert. And those were just the menu items starting in “S”. 145 items on the menu to be precise, not including drinks.
I always like to try something new when it comes to an adult beverage and I thought a Japanese beer would be apropos and a nice distraction from the clock. I see a Bīru amber on the menu and think to myself “I love me an amber”. I have had a few Japanese brews in my day but never an amber one. I’ve had Sapporo and Ashai but I’m not familiar with this brand. I text the COMDB translation department.
Me: Need a quick translation , what’s Bīru in Japanese
COMDB Translation Department: Stop bothering us during the game.
Me: Just a quick translation during a commercial break.
COMDB Translation Department: We like the commercials, have you seen the Uber one with Auston Matthews breaking the stuff with wrist shots.
Me: Bīru in Japanese
COMDB Translation Department: OK, OK, don’t get your panties in a knot. Could be a multi-story building. Or the colour blue?
Me: Doesn’t sound right.
COMDB Translation Department: Maybe beer.
Me: That makes sense.
COMDB Translation Department: They just scored. Got to go.
Me: Who just scored?
Me: Who just scored?
We order drinks to start with, my favourite appetizer. I can see the missus’ drink and my frosty beer and a nice glass sitting on the bar, then the waiter brings over the missus’ drink. My beer still waits on the bar, going through a traditional Japanese warming process perhaps? As my thirst begins to peak, I look around for our waiter, no where to be found. It’s 4 20 so maybe he’s on a smoke break?* After ten minutes which seems like an hour in real time the waiter appears and I ask if that is my beer sitting on the bar with no big screen, under the bright hot lights. “I will check” he says. The checking process takes another ten minutes which seems like an hour in real time.
My Bīru Amber Lager arrives and I scan the can to see what exotic Japanese brewery has brewed this International Beer of mystery. Blackburn? That doesn’t sound Japanese. That sounds like a Canadian brewery that is about ten minutes down the road from the restaurant. A brew pub that no doubt has the game on the big screen at their place. The waiter tells me that Blackburn relabels their beer especially for their Japanese restaurant, they even incorporated the restaurant logo into the label design.** Same ABV, same IBU as Blackburn’s Screaming Tunnels Amber only not as cold. Coincidence? I think not.
The food is delivered by a robot. Seriously. A slow robot that has four levels of trays and always stops at three tables before ours. And the food keeps coming and coming. Three different tables of people picking up our dish then realizing it’s not theirs and putting it back on the robot. Gotta love technology.
Ever try eating rice fast with chopsticks. Can’t be done. Then I had to send back the sushi dish because it was raw! Resolving myself that I would be watching the game highlights rather than the game, I sat back and savoured my warm beer and cold food. To be honest a lot of the food was pretty tasty, and I enjoyed the company. Another successful date night in the books.
I got back and turned on the TV to see my beloved buds behind 4 to zip, and only then did it dawn on me that I actually enjoyed a date night dinner out with the missus more than I would have enjoyed the game. Go figure.
*Editor’s Comment: 420 is slang for smoking pot, and April 20th (4 20) is an annual cannabis celebration in the US and Canada.
**Editor’s Comment: Many breweries will relabel their standard beers for special occasions or to look like “house” beers for a restaurant or pub.
Nice save toward the end there Roy! I giggled myself through the whole ‘date night’.
And for sure your dinner out was much better entertainment than the game!
Hope all is well with you (I’m sure it is!)
I would recommend the mango salad, the shrimp fried rice, and a fork.
Last night’s game was much more enjoyable than the first, Roy …… just in case you had another date night or other commitment and missed it!
Go Leafs!
I got to see all of last night’s game and found the ending most enjoyable. I’m looking forward to partying again like it’s 67.
Cheers to that! 🍻!
I always enjoy your COMDB articles!