Cranky Reviews

I Couldn’t Think of a Good Name for This Review so I’ll Just Call it “Birds”

Beer Type

11 to 14

11 to 14

Honourable Mentions

Rating

I Couldn’t Think of a Good Name for This Review so I’ll Just Call it “Birds”

Classic Pilsner

Avling Brewery Inc.

4,9% Alcohol

Even beer reviewers get writer’s block. I took a look at this pedestrian pilsner and couldn’t think of anything to write about. The big blue jay on the can could be a segue into the start of the baseball season. Go Jays go, so far so good. Perhaps I should have ordered a flight? Or I could comment on the “radical” (my sense of sarcasm still intact) renaming of this beer from its past name “Pils” to present moniker “Classic Pilsner”, which seems like a good reason to fire the marketing department and schedule a COMDB beer naming party. Even the brewer’s name “Avling” had me wondering what the COMDB Translation Department would come up with, but I just didn’t have the wherewithal to engage with that cantankerous collection of contrarians this morning. *

I could comment on the arbitrary inclusion of David Sedrais’ book in the brew pic, but other than birds of a feather I can’t seem to think of anything owls with diabetes may have in common with blue jays. But maybe this review can kill two birds with one stone. ** Although the thought of owls with diabetes is enough to make your head turn and keep you up at night. *** It appears I couldn’t come up with anything to write about this morning, so I guess I’ll just do a beer review.

A bird’s eye view of this brew shows a bright white crop dusting above a solid golden pour. it sure does look like beer. It has a malty floral aroma. The first taste is malt body to mildly crisp finish with an ever so slight floral aftertaste. It settles into a malt with a crisp slightly acerbic finish. The floral finish went from faint to fair. This is a classic German pils. Birds or no birds, it’s good refreshing basic beer.

*COMDB Translation Department: Despite the salacious meanderings of our reviewer, we are still dedicated to the fine art of translation. “Avling” is Norwegian and means a plant that is farmed and harvested, or more succinctly “a crop”.

**Editor’s Comment: Another tired old cliché. Our reviewer is definitely not as wise as an owl, he’s just winging it and has ended up with a review that’s for the birds.

***Editor’s Comment: Yes, birds can get diabetes. Parrots are particularly prone to the disease with blood glucose levels about three times as high as mammals. As for owls, it appears that human “night owls”, people who stay awake into the wee hours of morning, are more prone to diabetes according to some studies. By the way, Sedaris does have a story about owls in his book, stuffed owls to be precise, but no mention of diabetes.

Final Rating: All I Could Think of was a 14 out of 20

Beer Type

11 to 14

11 to 14

Honourable Mentions

Rating

Other Info

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