Cranky Reviews

Locked and Loaded

Milk Stout

Beer Type

15 to 20

15 to 20

Super Suds

Rating

IBU 28

Other Info

Locked and Loaded

Lockstation Milk Stout

Black Rapids Brewing Co.

5.3% Alcohol

Me: Hey JT, I’m trying out one of them Black Rapids brews.

JT: Does it induce rapid consumption?

Me: My average day induces rapid consumption.

The Rideau canal has 52 dams and 45 locks between Ottawa and Kingston.* The Black Rapids Lockstation, pictured on the can I’m consuming I’m assuming, is lucky lock number 13. Did you know that the lift locks were literally locked down during the lock down?*

And now, once again, it’s time for Summertime stout time, and it’s about time. Let’s see if Black Rapids is the best stout brewer by a dam site.

It pours black as a shoe shiner’s chamois, and as headless as Venus de Milo.**  As dark and intimidating as those black rampaging rapids, well maybe not quite as intimidating. Come to think of it, it’s not intimidating at all, I’m looking forward to it in fact. But it is quite black.

Aroma is very mild roasted malt, the coffee and cocao aroma were nowhere to be found. What stands out first swig, and all previous ones for that matter, is it’s creamy mouthfeel. Dreamy creamy. It goes well with the full malt body and a mild coffee sweet finish. Summertime stouts rule! A bit more coffee coming into play now. The coffee is both pronounced and enunciated. Creamy roasted malt sweet coffee repeat. Each part plays its part and holds its own. As it warmed it remained creamy but the coffee started to step up and stand out.

I was locked and loaded on this milk stout.***

*Editor’s Comment: Better leave the irrelevant and uninteresting facts to me. By the way, did you know that the amount of water used in an average Rideau Lock (10 foot lift) is 1.3 million litres.

**Editor’s Comment: More fractured facts and herniated history from our reviewer. The statue Venus de Milo is not headless, but has no arms. The statue Winged Victory has neither head nor arms.

***Reviewer’s Comment: Not really loaded, seriously, not loaded at all, I only had one. It’s just an expression, dammit.

Final Rating: A Lock on a 16 out of 20

Milk Stout

Beer Type

15 to 20

15 to 20

Super Suds

Rating

Other Info

IBU 28

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