“If you go to a garden party, I wish you lots of luck.”*
The missus says to me, “I need some beer for the garden” and I’m thinking “Garden Party!” Almost simultaneously I’m thinking to myself, “I’m about to be set straight again.” Sure enough, the Department of Corrections, sensing my misguided excitement, explains” It’s not for you, it’s for my garden.”
Now the missus has two green thumbs and can grow anything and everything. Right now she’s growing impatient. Me, I have two black thumbs, one for gardening and one from my carpentry skills, or lack thereof.
Her explanation “The slugs are eating my begonias” didn’t clarify things for me. All I know about flowers is they’re half price on February 15th.
“Maybe Doug can join the slugs and they can make it work.” ** My quip, while displaying my knowledge of an obscure Canadian musical group from the early 80’s, only solicited the side-eye. If she registered the reference I might have got the sky-eye.
“Slugs like beer” she explained, and I replied “who doesn’t”.
“I need some beer to put in a dish to kill the slugs” and by her tone I could tell her patience was wearing as thin as a Millennial’s skin.
“Sounds like a slug-fest to me” was my parting comment. I went to look for a brewski unsuitable for human consumption but irresistible to a tough-skinned terrestrial mucus making mollusk.
I poured the slugs a cold one to drown their sorrows, and their sorry begonia eating asses. And just like Ricky Nelson, I wished them lots of luck.
*Editor’s Comment: The 1972 number 1 hit by Rick Nelson, “Garden Party” is based on a 1971 Rock ‘n Roll Spectacular concert in which Nelson and his band played and were booed on stage.
**Editor’s Comment: Doug and the Slugs had a 1982 hit song “Making it Work”.
Sitting here in the Saskatoon heat and quaffing a cold one while I admire Ellen’s flower bed and contemplate the neighbors begonias, I wonder if a similar tactic will work for the bees or is just a waste of a good IPA!
Hey Lewis, I don’t think beer will kill the bees, but they might get a buzz on.