Politically Correct?

In Which COMDB Sets the Record Straight¹ on their Position on Diversity, Sex, Politics and Religion

Our legal department at COMDB is in a constant state of anxiety with every review and post we place, mainly because we are honest. They tell us that when it comes to being sued honesty is definitely not the best policy. Our marketing department tells us that being sued is the best marketing you can get and that being sued by a celebrity is even better. Of course our marketing department won’t be paying the legal or settlement bills, and since COMDB has no revenue the free marketing from having our asses sued off may not offset the costs incurred. So we will strive to fulfill Paul Simon’s song lyric request “Just give me some tenderness beneath your honesty.”  With that in mind we have edited a few reviews which made personal references to brew masters and their families. And even though this is a 19 years and over website, we have also tried to keep the content as clean as possible, which unfortunately eliminated some of our funniest reviews. Perhaps we should have a member only site²?

Diversity

One of the first issues we encountered was our name “Cranky Old Men Drinking Beer”, which is of course a very accurate description of who we are and what we do. But it didn’t appear to be a very inclusive name. What about all the cranky old women out there, and through personal experience we know they are out there. Or all those young people who don’t know shit from shinola³. And what about all those uncranky constantly happy people who are all rainbows and sunshine? Then we find out that the word rainbow is actually a reference to the LGBTQ2S+ community so we have to use that word in the correct context. For example if I was honest and said “screw all those always happy rainbow and sunshine people because they are only rowing with one oar in the water” I may have inadvertently slandered the LGBTQ2S+ community as well as the local rowing club, which wasn’t my intention at all. Although I do wonder sometimes about those rowing clubs, what’s that all about anyway? Why would you paddle around without putting a line in the water? Anyway, to put it quite simply our motto is live and let live. We even welcome wine drinkers although I can’t for the life of me think why we would.

Religion

When it comes to religion you have to be very careful. We have tried not to cater to any one religion on our website. Just like cash we welcome all denominations. We did review the beer Sinister Minister  (sounds like it’s the saved that needs savin’ this time) to determine if it was bound for glory or banished to purgatory, but that is about a judgmental as we get when it comes to religion. We must confess, we do praise many beers and the occasional brewer.

Politics

Although we did do a review entitled “7 Fewer Politicians Gets My Vote” and also made some derogatory comments about the profession in “The COMDB Search for a Celebrity Spokesperson” the truth is that many politicians are genuinely concerned and committed to making life better for all of us. Unfortunately many don’t know how to, some don’t care to, and there are a few that are just out for numero uno. Our job as “informed voters” is to decide which is which. These days with so much disinformation (bullshit) out there I think the term informed voter is an oxymoron, and some voters are just plain morons (those are usually the ones that vote for the party we don’t). When it comes to politics, the term don’t hate the player, hate the game comes to mind but just doesn’t cut it.⁴ Now the politics of beer is something we do wade into on occasion.

Sex

Sex is just not on the horizon for cranky old men drinking beer. That doesn’t sound good, let me rephrase that. It is not our intention to have sex as a topic on our website. After saying that I did search the website and found a number of references to sex such as the review of Roman Candle which also happened to have an unrelated reference to ancient torture methods.  The review for Cracked Canoe introed with an old lame sex joke, which coincidentally is what a few of us cranky old men have been called.  Our review of Lancaster Bomber tells us to avoid drinking alcohol while trying to conceive, which seems ironic in that alcohol is sometimes a contributing factor in pregnancy.  Our review on “No Bad Daze” references the gratuitous nudity and sex on the show Game of Thrones which it appears our editor enjoyed⁵. I guess sex is finding its way into the COMDB website, but let’s be clear, other than believing that good sex is good, we don’t have any other opinion or any expertise on the subject.

In Conclusion

When it comes to COMDB we believe this has put the issue of political correctness to bed⁶. Just like all beauty pageant finalists⁷, we just wish all sexual orientations, religions, ethnicities, nations and professions can learn to live together in harmony, although we are still very suspicious of wine drinkers.  

1. Editor’s Comment: The use of the word “straight” in this context is not related in any way to any specific sexual orientation. And the word “orientation” is not a reference to any specific ethnicity. I think this blog will be keeping me busy.
2. Editor’s Comment: This in no way implies a male only site.
3. Editor’s Comment: “Shinola” was a Trademarked brand of shoe polish. The phrase “you don’t know shit from Shinola” is a colloquialism which dates back to the early 1940s. Sometimes it is followed with “that’s why your shoes don’t shine”.
4. Editor’s Comment: “Don’t hate the player, hate the game” is a popular expression telling people that they should not hate those abusing the weaknesses of a certain system, rather they should hate the faulty system they are locked into. The phrase is frequently used by those who have had to resolve to morally questionable actions in order to succeed. The key words here are “abuse the system” and “morally questionable actions”.
5. Editor’s Comment: The gratuitous, exploitative, and just straight-up superfluous sex and nudity on Game of Thrones just happened to be some of the series highlites.
6. Editor’s Comment: The comment “puts to bed” in no way implies having sex with political correctness.
7. Editor’s Comment: How did this get in there. I thought we were removing it?