Back in our day, we didn’t have indoor rinks, we skated outside all day until we lost feeling in our toes, feet, legs and other extremities that will remain unmentioned (umentionables). All frost bite meant was it was time to go home for dinner.
We didn’t have skateboards, we had chalkboards. We didn’t have tablets unless we had a headache which was usually from a hangover. Self-inflicted wound, we got no sympathy there!
The only I-pad I ever had was when I got a pencil in the eye in 4th grade and had to wear that patch for a week.
We didn’t have driving school, we had drunk driving school. And if you failed that you got a night in jail and they removed your shoe laces and belt so you didn’t kill yourself or the asshole they locked you up with.
And you had to play your cards right so the math teacher didn’t show you his “slide ruler” but you still passed math.
Freezing our asses off drinking warm beer in the park, and drinking it quick enough so it wouldn’t freeze.
Back then we had to steal our music the old fashion way, it wasn’t a download, it was a grab and run.
The only free movies we got were from getting into the drive-in in the trunk of the car, then you ran the risk of the bastards not opening the trunk. Or getting fall down drunk and crawling across the parking lot at the end of the night and getting run over.
We never had our own $1000 phones, we had transistor radios with the sound quality of a herniated hyena. For us 8-tracks were a major technology breakthrough.
Computers were used by NASA as part of the Apollo space program. The only laptops we had were when we sat down.
We didn’t have 400 brands of beer at the beer store to choose from, we had three. Cold Canadian, warm Canadian, and Blue (no one cared if it was warm or cold).
We never had fake id because no one ever asked for it.
Back then the quality of drugs was so bad you could roll a cheesie joint and the wacked out weed eaters wouldn’t know the difference.
We didn’t have 500 channels to choose from, or Crave or Netflix or Prime or whatever channels they have now. Mom watched The Young and the Restless, Dad watched Gunsmoke, and you watched whatever Mom or Dad were watching, because we only had one TV!
We didn’t have a bunch of fast food places to choose from, we didn’t have sushi or Mexican, or Subway. Once a month we ordered Chinese. Dinner was what Dad liked and if you didn’t eat it you experienced something else that Dad liked, him giving you an ass-kicking.
We had Hockey Night in Canada once a week, 12 times a season because the season was so short. With 6 teams every player whose name you could remember made the All-star game. Not only did the players not wear helmets, the goalies didn’t either!
And we survived disco!
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