Who has seen the wind, neither you nor I
But when my drive ends up behind the tee, the wind is passing by. *
A stroke is caused by a lack of blood flow to the brain, which in turn causes parts of the brain to stop functioning properly. Ironically this could well be the reason that in a moment of weakness and complete lack of hindsight I signed up for another golf tournament.
Hidden Lake golf course was easier to find than I thought.
Some would say the weather was fickle that day, others would use stronger terms like inclement. Still others would say the wicked wind combined with a drenching downpour, with intermittent stretches of sun to tease, was a brutal combination destined for some high scoring performances.
How windy was it you ask. It was so windy it blew Ru Paul straight! It was so windy Dorothy ended up back in Kansas before she even saw Oz. It was so cold and windy I almost didn’t have a beer on the course! Almost.
On the plus side, when the wind was at my back I managed to get a couple of drives past the lady’s tee.
My LOFT issues ** are well known to many, but there are still some poor uninformed golfers that end up on my team and find out the hard way. How quickly they learn. Comments like “sounded good” and “I don’t think it’s in the water” are commonplace and ultimately pitying rather than condescending.
Despite the weather, some sandbagger scored a hole in one on the hole in one hole and cashed in for $10K. How’s that for a money shot. A round on the house for 120 golfers put a dent in those winnings and he still gets taxed on the full amount I bet. ***
Another afternoon of quads and quints, chopping cabbage, duffed drives, fat shots and fried eggs. **** It’s not just in politics where we see lots of bad lies. Now that all those slices and hooks are in the books, when I think back on the day that was, the highlight for me was a shot that someone else made. That hole in one resulted in a free beer.
*Editor’s Comment: Once again our Reviewer butchers a classic. Who Has Seen the Wind is a 1872 short poem by Christina Rossetti. The last verse: “Who has seen the wind? Neither you nor I: But when the trees bow down their heads, The wind is passing by.”
**Editor’s Comment: Lack of fucking talent.
***Editor’s Comment: That is correct. In Canada a hole in one cash prize is recognized as taxable income.
****COMDB Translation Department: A quad is 4 over par, a quint is 5 over par, a snowman is a score of 8. The ‘cabbage” is the long grass, a duff is a bad shot, a fat shot is a short chunk shot when the club hits the ground first. A fried egg is a ball lying deep in the sand.
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