It’s no surprise that spaced out Brewer Paniza, * purveyor of such self-professed out of this world pints as Jupiter Pilsner, and Mars Bock, would name their oatmeal stout Black Hole. A black hole is no laughing matter when you understand the gravity of the situation. They say if you fall into one you experience spaghettification but that sounds like a bit of a stretch to me. **
There’s lots of beer in the final frontier. We did enjoy a Space Puffin from Paradise, and survived a Catstronaut catastrophe. Then there were Space Rations, and Rocket Science, Major Tom, Apollo Seven and a far out Andromeda Galaxy. We even encountered a Black Hole Sun in our intergalactic travels. On the Crownsmen Show we unraveled the perplexing mystery wrapped in an unfathomable enigma that was Dark Matter. And who can forget the pint that 9 out of 10 proctologists prefer, Long Dark Voyage to Uranus. ***
This link laden list goes on longer than a sign language filibuster. Time to fade to black and pound this one back.
A complete absorption of visible light pour, as black as the name would suggest, maybe blacker. A slim tan topper adds a nice accent. The dark roast aroma suggests some strong suds. It has a half full mouthfeel, substantial but not nitro, feeling its oats. The taste of roasted malt cocoa stoutness with a touch of a coffee bitter aftertaste. Cocoa sweet and espresso bitters, are they in conflict or cahoots? In battle or balance? It’s a moot point because it all works as the bitters fade and the whole production mellows. It ends up finishing as smooth as an MJ criminal, or an MJ fade away, with MJ painting it black. ****
A tasty classic oatmeal stout. It evolved but you know what? I enjoyed the hole thing.
*Editor’s Comment: In case you were wondering where the brewer came up with the name Paniza, we were too. The brewery owner, Marcelo Paniza, contacted us to clarify that.
**Editor’s Comment: A black hole is not a star, but is formed from the death of a very massive star. Black holes are so dense that that gravity just below its surface, known as the event horizon, is strong enough that nothing, not even light can escape it. Spaghettification is a real term and describes what happens when matter gets too close to a black hole. It is squeezed horizontally and stretched vertically.
***Editor’s Comment: Fact check. Although it was clear that a majority of proctologists preferred Long Dark Voyage to Uranus, the figure 9 out of 10 that the Reviewer is claiming could not be confirmed.
****Editor’s Comment: Michael Jackson’s song Smooth Criminal, or a Michael Jordan jump shot, or Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stone songs, Paint it Black.
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