Some say the secret to success is hard work. However based on the “successful” people that we know, if you are lucky enough to be successful then the key to your success is most likely luck. When it comes to hard work, I find that since I don’t do much work of any kind anymore, most work of any kind is hard work. I’ve never been much good at physical labour, so when it comes to any type of exertion my approach is usually a four-step process.
- Do it wrong and make it worse.
- Try to solve the problem I have created.
- Hire someone that knows what they’re doing.
- Have a beer.
Of course, since I don’t work hard these days I have neither the knowledge nor the tools to carry it out efficiently or even complete the task for that matter. You may be wondering what this recent bout of hard work could be. Maybe taking empties to the beer store? Raking the yard? Filling the bird feeder? I can work up a sweat with any of those exhausting chores but they aren’t the topic today.
A less than ship shape shoreline.
After the big Muskoka ice storm * a number of trees came down at the cottage, with little or no consideration to those of us who have to clean up as to where they fell. Clearing the road was not that difficult, since someone else did it. But the trees that fell into the lake from the shoreline, well that was my assignment. We have a fair bit of shoreline and it’s Canadian Shield shore, not Bermuda beach shore. Steep as the beer prices at a Blue Jays game and as rocky as a Depp-Heard relationship. Battery chain saw and buck saw in hand, styling on the catwalk in my hip waders, I headed to the shoreline to tackle the pines and birches that went for a dip.
Here are a few things I came to realize. Although wood floats, you may not be surprised to learn that logs that sit in water become water-logged. Heavier than the head that wears the crown. And much like the iceberg that downed the Titanic, these trees had a good deal of themselves under the surface. What I thought would be light work wasn’t.
Fashionable yet functional!
I also found that since hip waders are designed to keep water out, they are also good at keeping water in, should the wearer be foolish enough to allow such a situation to occur.
By the time I was done I knew what I was doing…. wrong. Suffice to say there was not a continuous improvement program on this project. Soaked to the skin, exhausted, and smelling like a pine car air freshener, I had the satisfaction of a job done. Not well done, just done.
Back to my day job. Time for a nice cold beer, or an ice cold beer, as the case may be. **
Lumberjack libations.
Postscript: After two days of hauling trees out of the lake and cutting them up, and a couple of bruises where the rocky shore broke my fall, I’m hurtin’ so bad I could be a country song. And just like me, most country songs have beer in them.
*Editor’s Comment: In late March 2025 an ice storm hit the Muskokas, bringing down trees, damaging buildings and knocking out the power for 10 days or longer to many residents. A state of emergency was declared at the time.
**Editor’s Comment: Classic pangram..
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