In these trying times our patriotic pride has been stirred into an ambitious act of Nationalism and solidarity that only the Cranky Old Men could concoct, conceive and carry out. A cross-country coast to coast toast to the country with the most, Canada! From East to West we sample the best brews that the best Country has to offer. From the rocky shores of the Rock to the Victorian abodes of Victoria, a 7,000 kilometer plus island hop to experience just one of many reasons why our country is so great. The beer. Canada didn’t invent craft beer, we just perfected it. Our COMDB slogan “the beer is the journey” has never been so apropos. No, the Trans Canada is not another northern drag show, but our highway to heaven to score some super suds pubs and pints. Relax and enjoy the views and the brews.
The Rock
Our Newfoundland Brew Tour was a 750 km trek on its own. We landed in St. John’s and headed North, 7 hours of driving through enough rain to float the ark. No whales spotted but I wouldn’t have been surprised to see one swim by, it was raining so hard.
Up to the quaint mining and fishing hamlet of Baie Verte. It wasn’t Friday but that didn’t stop us from sampling a Good Friday from The Little North Brewhouse. A good old fashion Newfoundland boil up * and this cream ale was the super suds of the hour.
Heading back down the coast and a short detour off the Trans Canada to a world famous ** town and brewery. Nestled on the rocky coast is none other than Dildo Brewing Co. in the town of Dildo NL. They tell us that the bay is a good spot to spot whales, but I thought if I saw one it would be a fluke. So instead, I sat down to a Dildo Stout with a plate of mussels. An excellent choice on my part if I so say so myself.
YellowBelly out of St. John’s has recently batched a Canadian Lagered Ale to support Canadian independence called “Elbows Up”, just part of a Gordie Howe hat trick. ***
*Editor’s Comment: A boil up is a Newfoundland tradition where friends or family gather by the beach or the woods to have a cup and a snack by a fire. A cup of what may be subject to some debate but the boil up seemed to originally refer to tea. Little North may have other ideas.
**Editor’s Comment: The town and brewery attracted some Hollywood notoriety a few years ago when Jimmy Kimmel did a bit on the town, next thing you know Kimmel is appointed Honorary Mayor.
***Editor’s Comment: “Elbows Up” is a hockey expression meant to protect yourself in the corners or to cause some damage, rules be damned. A Gordie Howe hat trick was a goal, an assist, and a fight.
PEI
Island hopping heading West and it’s not too often you think of Prince Edward Island as West but here we are on island time again, * beers on tables with Anne of Green Gables. We love guest reviews and Kelly’s review of Prince Edward Island Brewing’s classic Gahan Beacon Beach Blonde while sipping suds by the seashore and watching the waves of Dalvay-by-the-Sea ** shape the sands, sounded idyllic. Maybe while sitting in a Beach Chair, another fine PEI Brewing brew.
* Editor’s Comment: The well known expression “on Island time” seems to have it’s origins in the Caribbean and was originally a complaint about the lax attitude and constant lateness of the local services. It has come to have a more positive meaning as a relaxing leisurely and oft desired pace.
** Editor’s Comment: Dalvay-By-The-Sea, a National Historic Site of Canada, is a Queen Anne Revival home built in 1895 by a Scottish-American oil tycoon. A summer resort hotel since the 1930’s, it is located at the east end of Prince Edward Island’s National Park on Dalvay Beach. The hotel has been featured in the Anne of Green Gables movies and also served as the fictional White Sands Hotel in the Canadian Road to Avonlea television series.
New Scotland
According to our egghead Editor, Nova Scotia is Latin for New Scotland. * Alexander Keith’s claims to be the pride of Nova Scotia. I would say they’re not alone and may have to line up behind the Bluenose, those big old lobsters, Sidney Crosby, Anne Murray, Sarah MacLachlan, and Alistair MacLeod.** Even Sir Alexander Graham Bell was a part time Nova Scotian.
We have enjoyed a number of NS brews including Breton Brewing’s Red Coat but we wondered where the famous East Coast hospitality went when we were introduced to Nine Locks East Coast IPA Frig Off. *** Their equally uninviting Get the Hell Out Stout was a winner at the 2nd Annual COMDB AGM (Annual Golf Meeting).
Not a Nova Scotia beer, but we couldn’t resist including this pic that was sent to us of three Beagle Bitters beers with three background Beagles from Dr. B’s Bashful Beagle Boarding House in Halifax Nova Scotia.
*Editor’s Comment: That is correct, the Latin I mean, not the egghead comment. Sir William Alexander was given the land by King James of Scotland in 1621 hence the name.
**Editor’s Comment: “No Great Mischief” is quite the read if anyone reads books these days.
***Editor’s Comment: “Frig” is an accepted word in Scrabble that will score you 8 on it’s own without any double or triple letter word spaces covered. It also happens to be a tip of the tankard to the show Trailer Park Boys, which was filmed in Dartmouth and Halifax. The expression is used on a regular basis in the show. Bubbles would be proud.
New Brunswick
No, not the bowling ball you got for Christmas, but the next province on our Cross Canada toast, New Brunswick. The only province with two official languages. Last year we celebrated Moosehead’s 150th birthday with, you guessed it, a Moosehead Lager. By their own admission, they are a “fiercely independent” Canadian brewery. Well done Olands.
Moosehead has recently produced a Presidential Pack to support Canadian independence. “Congratulations. You are now 1,461 beers closer to 2029. We can’t predict how the next four years will go, but considering how 2025 started, we have a feeling this many beers will come in handy.”
Bathurst is a beautiful NB town with a proud history of mining and JR.A hockey champions. Their Gowan Brae golf course is a beauty. They also brew some pretty tasty brews out of Four Rivers Brewing, including an Irish Red jaunt down Raglan Road.
Then there was Charlie Horse, we didn’t know who he was but he sounded like a pain. We quickly discovered that Charlie Horse was not in fact a disagreeable sot, but a Kolsch from the Fredericton based Half Cut Brewing Company, which sounded like a fairly accurate alternate name for COMDB.
La Belle Province
There was a young boy from Quebec, who was buried in snow to his neck.
When asked are you frizz, he replied yes I is,
but we don’t call this cold in Quebec.
Quebec has a special place in our hearts, and our beer fridge. We remember the Hockey Night in Canada announcers, “ Les troisieme etoile, de turd star”, and way back in the day border runs to take advantage of the 3AM last call. Brador, the only extra strong beer we knew of back then. The great downhill skiing, and of course the Montreal Expos.*
Downtown Montreal in “le cœur de la ville” and what’s goin’ down is an Amberée. A 3 Brasseurs patio pint. As I drank my beer I started to blend into my surroundings, it happens every now and zen. It could have been the beer or it could have been the ambiance. Or maybe it was the amberiance? C’est la vie, c’est l’amberée, say it slow, and say it’s so.
Quebec City is a whole different kettle of fish. a unique destination and well worth the trip. Archibald Brewers just North of Quebec City has a fine line of tasty brews, including Chipie, a Rouse Pale Ale, and their Angelic Angelique. Their Ci-boire seemed like a beer after our own hearts as the COMDB translation department told us it means “here to drink”. Not coincidentally, so were we.
* Editor’s Comment: The Montreal Expos were the first Major League baseball team to be located outside of the USA. They played from 1969 to 2004. The franchise relocated after the 2004 season and became the Washington Nationals.
Ontario
It has the capital of Canada, the biggest city, Niagara Falls, * the Muskokas, the largest beer spa in the world, the Great Lakes, the Raptors, Blue Jays and the Maple Leafs. I remember watching the Leafs win the cup, I’m hoping to see that happen again, but this time in colour.** As far as beer goes, the Ontario Craft Brewers Association has over 100 members so there is lots from which to choose when it comes to brews for reviews. And us COM have taken on the challenge gladly.
Ottawa’s Dominion City was flying high with their Two Flags, a patriotic pint right from the Nation’s capital. Or is that capitol? And should it be capitalized? Or is that capitalised? *** No wonder politics is so confusing.
Niagara has a few vineyards for the oenophiles in the crowd, but lots of craft brewers for us cranky old quaffers. Make sure to see the sites, but when your maid or mister of the mist has seen enough of the Falls, you can always pop over to the Niagara Brewing Company for a tasty tartan Irish Red.
On to cottage country, the Muskokas, and one of our favourite (and most sampled) brewers, Sawdust City. Their Ol’ Woody Alt was so nice we did it twice.
Continuing to head West and we run right into the famous Thunder Bay landmark, the Sleeping Giant, and the brewery that bears its name. Sleeping Giant Brewery’s Oatmeal Stout Skull Rock is in reference to another Thunder Bay area landmark.****
* Editor’s Comment: Niagara Falls is actually composed of three waterfalls, the Horseshoe Falls is the largest and is on the Canadian side. The American and the Bridal Falls are on the US side.
**Editor’s Comment: The last time the Toronto Maple Leafs won the Stanely Cup was in 1967, the last year of the original 6 before the league expanded. At that time you had a 17% chance of winning the cup. Now with 32 teams in the league each team has a 3% chance of winning the cup, and some would say the Leafs have less chance than that.
***Editor’s Comment: The correct expression and capitalization (or lack thereof) is “Ottawa, the nation’s capital.” However, Ottawa also houses the nation’s capitol, which is the building in which the legislative government meets.
***Editor’s Comment: The Skull Rock that Sleeping Giant is referring to is on Silver Islet near Thunder Bay. Between 1870 and 1884 over three million dollars in silver was mined from the skull-shaped island rock, a small outcropping in Lake Superior. Buried treasure so to speak. It was one of Ontario’s earliest mines and the world’s leading silver producer in it’s day. Today the remnants of the mine can still be seen, including a submerged mine shaft.
Manitoba
As we continue our coast-to-coast toast to Canada, we leave the great lakes of Ontario for the land of 10,000 lakes, Manitoba, the start of the prairie provinces. We roll on down the highway with a great Manitoba band, BTO.*
Tom Cochrane is also from Manitoba and when he wrote the song “Life is a Highway” he may well have been thinking about the longest paved highway in the world, the Trans Canada Highway. ** Or maybe he was thinking of Highway 391 that goes to his hometown of Lynn Lake. ***
All that highway dust can make for a thirsty COM, so JT pulled into the Nonsuch in Winnipeg to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with an Irish Red. “One of those brews where you suddenly discover your glass is almost empty.” When it comes to JT, I would guess there are quite a lot of those brews but needless to say, he enjoyed this one.
*Editor’s Comment: Bachman Turner Overdrive’s 1975 song “Roll on Down the Highway” was a top ten hit in Canada and the US. Randy Bachman and Fred Turner were both from Winnipeg Manitoba where they first formed The Guess Who.
**Editor’s Comment: The Trans Canada is the longest paved highway in the world at 7,821 kms (4860 miles) long.
***Editor’s Comment: As a result of Tom Cochrane’s 1991 hit song “Life is a Highway”, in 2016 the Manitoba Government named the 322 km stretch of highway from Lynn Lake, Manitoba (Cochrane’s birthplace) to Thompson as the “Life is a Highway” highway.
Saskatchewan
I never really thought of Manitoba as the prairies, but Saskatchewan definitely is. Flat never ending vistas, wheat and potash, hypnotizing highways, and a tasty brew or two too.
When thinking about where to go for a little R&R, Regina is neither R and most likely not the first tourist destination that usually comes to mind. That’s why the city came up with their eye brow raising tourism campaign with the tag line “Show us your Regina, the city that rhymes with fun.* You don’t need a Cranky Old Man around to read between the lines on that one.
Let’s just hoist one for some fun, as in a tasty Sasquatch Pale Ale from Rebellion Brewery out of Regina. We aren’t sure how much the city paid for their not so subliminal advertising campaign, but really, they just had to point folks to some of the great craft brewers in the province like this delicious hops haven and it would be mission accomplished.
*Editor’s Comment: I guess “My Regina is for Lovers” (Virginia) or “Your Regina is on my Mind” (Georgia) or “What Happens in My Regina stays in My Regina” (Vegas) were all taken.
Alberta
We’re now in the Western most prairie province, Alberta. Although it is one of the prairie provinces, it’s probably best known for the Rockies, Banff, the Calgary Stampede, and oil. It’s also the home to a fierce hockey rivalry between Calgary and Edmonton.
Big Rock is a big time Calgary brewer. They can talk the talk but we also found out that they can rock the Bock, as in their Helles Bock. They tell us the “the Devil is in the details” and then tell us this brew has an ABV of 6.66%, what the hell is that all about? I don’t want to start trying to explain all these Revelations. *
A few hours North of Calgary is the biggest shopping mall in North America,** and they built a city around it called Edmonton. It is the land of McDavid, although after the 4 Nations win Canada is probably the land of McDavid. At least until the next Oilers Leafs game.
I’m at the pub and admiring a perfect pour of a Polar Park pilsner. Polar Park’s Man of the North pays tribute to a local legend. Al Oeming, a military veteran, a conservationist, a professional wrestler (Nature Boy long before Ric Flair) and a proud Edmontonian.***
*Editor’s Comment: In the Bible, the book of Revelations references 666 as the number of the beast.
**Editor’s Comment: At 5.3 million square feet the West Edmonton mall is the largest mall in North America and the 8th largest mall in the world. Within the mall there is a n amusement park, a water park, an NHL size skating rink and a miniature golf course. It does hold the world record for the largest parking lot in the world with over 20,000 spaces and an overflow capacity of another 10,000.
***Editor’s Comment: The Polar Park Zoo and the TV show Man of the North were both the brainchild of Al Oeming. The TV show was a 1980 CBC documentary. The Polar Park Zoo opened in 1959. At one time the zoo had a total land area was 1,400 acres, including a 1.5 km lake. There were over 4,000 animals in total, with 100 different species. There were also 3,500 birds spanning 95 different species. Polar Park closed in the mid 90’s.
British Columbia
On my first day on my new job in North Central BC (Houston, near Smithers) I remember being introduced to my supervisor:
Supervisor: “Where you from kid.”
Me: “Ontario.”
Supervisor: “The only good thing to come out of the East is the sun.”
Since that time the welcomes on my visits to BC have been much warmer. As we cross into beautiful British Columbia near the Montana border we are in the Rockies and the picturesque ski town of Fernie. Home of the headwall and birthplace of Alex Lifeson although he was in no rush at the time. *
Recently Farmer Steve’s sons took him on a ski trip to Fernie for his birthday. The last time he skied was 50 years ago! He exuded confidence when he summed up the trip in three words, “God help me”. I never knew Farmer Steve as the religious type, other than praying for rain. I suggested for his birthday he tap a keg rather than break a leg. No real need to go skiing at his age, it’s all downhill from here anyway. He survived partly because he probably spent more time in the lodge than on the slopes.
And he got to sample a few Fernie Brewery specials while he was at it. Fernie’s Headwall Pale Ale is named for the headwall land feature that is the scenic backdrop to the area.
Heading West and we end up in the verdant green cosmopolitan coastal city of Vancouver. Talk about green, some of these buildings even have grass on the roof, good thing it’s legal now.
A sun shiny stroll down the promenade past the cruise ships finds me on the outskirts of Gastown at the iconic Steam Works Brew House. Heaven knows (and anyone else who visits this website occasionally) that I love me an amber. So a Copper Roof amber on tap seemed like the right brew to raise the roof and toast the coast.
The last stop on our cross Canada Island hop is none other than the provincial capital of Victoria on Vancouver Island. Home of the largest totem pole in the world (no surprise there) and home to the largest hockey stick in the world (??). ** The birthplace and current home of Pamela Anderson too. *** The island is frequented by seniors and orcas alike although they typically don’t hang in the same circles, or pods as the case may be.
Vancouver Island Brewing’s Island Lager seemed to be a good choice to finish off our brew tour. Although we didn’t make it to the island this time around we were there in spirit and spirits.
*Editor’s Comment: Alex Lifeson, founder and lead guitarist for Rush, was born in Fernie.
**Editor’s Comment: The world’s largest hockey stick is located in the town of Duncan on Vancouver Island. The 205-foot long, 61,000 pound hockey stick, crafted from Douglas fir for Expo 86, holds the 2008 Guinness World Record for the largest in the world. However the stick is aging and has been deemed a public safety concern so there are plans to remove it. The world’s largest totem pole is located on the island in Victoria, which is the provincial capital of British Columbia.
***Editor’s Comments: Pamela Denise Anderson was born in Ladysmith, BC and moved back to her childhood home a few years ago. She rose to fame as a model, having been discovered at a BC Lions football game on the jumbotron with a Labatt’s T Shirt on. Labatt’s hired her as a spokesmodel, and her career took off from there.
The Territories
Our cross Canada brew tour didn’t make it up to the Territories this time around, but with brewers like Yukon Brewing and Winterlong Brewing out of Whitehorse, and NWT Brewing out of Yellowknife, and NuBrew out of Iqaluit Nunavut, we can’t wait to try some of those far Northern brews and make this a coast to coast to coast toast.
In Conclusion
The Editor: I’ve been to every province and territory in this great country. I have driven my motorcycle from Prince Rupert on the West Coast of BC, to Magdalen Island. Saddle sore from the ride and rubbernecking all the way due to all the beautiful scenery that is Canada. And yes there was a ferry ride to PEI (before the Confederation Bridge was built) and another to Les Îles-de-la-Madeleine on that trip. I’ve also seen a lot of the world in my time and I’m here to tell you there is no country as grand or great or good as Canada. We each need to celebrate Canada, and for us cranky old Canucks our coast-to-coast toast to the country we love the most is our way of celebrating being Canadian. Cheers.
O Canada we brew for you !